1: Timing Matters
Try not to start an argument with each other in inopportune times. I’m sure every couple at some point has started an argument on the way to family gathering, party, or social event. Some events are even more increasingly stressful if they’re outside of your partners comfort zone, is your wife in introvert and are you on the way to a place with lots a strangers she will need to meet? She will be thankful that you waited to continue conversation at home. Remember the context your spouse is living within. What has his/her day been like? Are they tired, stressed, or otherwise? Save yourself the aggravation by using wise timing when discussing sensitive topics
2: Word Selection Matters
What expressions are common in your house? Do you tend to use language that comes across as shaming or passing blame? For instance, you didn’t just spend $15 dollars on Amazon did you? Even if you’re trying to be jokingly passive aggressive those words you pick, even jokingly can leave your spouse hurt. Sometimes hurt feelings will happen because of the sensitivity of the topic but regardless of the outcome if you decide to sting with venomous words know that it will hurt your partner and your relationship.
3: Tone Matters
The right words with the wrong tone can cause serious frustration. Even thought we might live with our spouses or significant others we may never know what they’ve been through on a specific day. Be mindful how your spouse might interpret your words because of tone, it could be that she doesn’t like your tone after she spent most of her day picking up your stuff and cleaning around the home. You’ve probably already been through scenario at some point, but we can all improve in this area. If you’re unsure on how you may come across, practice in your head a few times while putting yourself in her shoes.