He Said: 

  1. He says “Have you seen anything you like recently?” – He means “Every day you mention 20 things you love or can’t live without, will you hurry up and pick one!”
  2. He says “Are you sure that’s the one you want?” – He means “I’ve looked up the reviews on the product you want and its average at best, it may be better to wait till next year’s model or go with a different gift.”
  3. He says “So did you have a place in mind that you wanted to have dinner” – He means “Please tell me what you want to eat, what time, and what to wear. If I miss or screw something up it will be because you weren’t detailed enough”
  4. He says “Did you tell your friends what I got you?!” – He means “ Please praise me for getting you an awesome gift and also proclaim it to all your friends about how great of a man I am on Facebook #greatesthusbandever”
  5. He says “I treat you special every day, why make it a big deal on one day” – He means “It’s a corporate conspiracy conceived by candy stores, restaurants, florist, and jewelers to get people to spend money on junk. I’d rather do this another day where we don’t have to wait and hour at a crowded restaurant to eat dinner”

She Said: 

  1. She say “Oh I really like this! I could really use it for…” – She means “I told you want I want to use it for so you should remember this. I probably won’t mention it again because that would seem selfish- so remember it now.”
  2. She says “This one is perfect!” – She means “I’m sick of looking at things, I don’t care about the silly reviews, I already know what I want and exactly how I plan to use it. Ooh and it comes with a pretty case.”
  3. She says “You pick where we go to dinner. You can wear whatever. It’s no big deal.” – She means “ I hope you remember how much I love that little diner we went to on my very first Mother’s Day. I hope you’ll remember to order the fondue… but this time without the strawberries. I did tell you that day 5 years ago that I didn’t care for the way they slice their strawberries. Please wear that blue button up shirt… it’s already ironed. Oh with the dark skinny fit jeans that make your butt look nice. And don’t wear the ugly brown shoes. Wear the new black ones. I don’t care if they’re uncomfortable. I wear heels- deal with it.”
  4. She says “I Don’t Want Anything For Mother’s Day” –She means “Don’t go all day without saying something. Make me feel special without spending a lot of money. You should still buy a card and probably make me dinner and tell me thank you and that you love me but I don’t want anything specific per se. Just to feel special. That’s what I want. And if you did the dishes. Even better. And if you do buy me something anyways, don’t be surprised if I tell you it’s too much. Or if I don’t tell anyone about it. I don’t want to play the best Mother’s day gift game on Facebook.”
  5. She says “Mother’s Day Is Coming” –She means “It’s the one day people actually actively appreciate all the hard work I do as a Mom. You better take notice and say something. I don’t care if you don’t think it’s a big deal… it’s a National Holiday. That means something doesn’t it. If you don’t recognize it, then I don’t feel valued. When I don’t feel valued I feel unwanted. So get with it. I promise it isn’t going to kill you to buy a card.”

Co-Authored by Kellie Daab:

Kellie Daab blogs her way into the hearts of the imperfect at www.sonottogether.com. After many years of striving for Pinterest perfection she set on a journey of self love and acceptance. Her readers love her honest, snarky, and humorous approach to parenting, self acceptance, friendship, and love. Kellie has 15 years experience in the wedding and event planning industry and now coaches and provides online services for creative’s, bloggers, and event industry professionals through her company iDo Collective.